Being a Pairent of 2…

 

Life takes a new turn once you are a PaiRent of 2….

A lot and I mean a lot changed for Dheeraj and me after Rajveer (the younger one) came in our life. Every minute got divided between our two boys, Kabeer and Rajveer………but, was the change only a change for us? NO

It all started with preparing Kabeer towards welcoming the new member of the family. Making him realise how things will be different at home and for us as a family once we have the little one in our arms. We made him a part of the discussions, involved him for everything. he would enjoy feeling kicks of the the little human being in me. 

Oct 11 2016, we welcomed Rajveer into our lives, Still a kid, at the age of 4, Kabeer was now the elder brother and the entire scenario for him had changed. His space was now being shared by his little brother. Before he had his little brother, he was the baby of the house, now that title was often given to his little brother. While, we as Pairents were settling in this space, we somewhere also had to cautiously keep reminding ourselves about the fact that our elder one too was accommodating and needed a lot of support and understanding.

Of course there were meltdowns and few raised voices, but important was to be aware of the situation and bring in more patience and strength. It is true when they say, Life feels like a referee after two kids, but please don’t forget that kids feel change the  most and more so the elder kid.

What did we do after we had the second baby:

• While the little one, being a new born, had all the attention, elder one was taken care of with more sensitivity 
• Pulling in more support to not disrupt Kabeer’s existing schedule
• Pamper Kabeer with different ways to make him feel special
• The most important part, involve him in the little ones chores to make him a part of the journey
• Never keep him away and feel neglected while attending to the little one, be it while feeding the little one or playing with him and such
• Giving the elder one his time with his brother, another very important aspect, on and off, we asked Kabeer to look after Rajveer and we continue to do that till date…..this has helped both the boys to beautifully  bond with each other 
• When the little started eating mashed fruits or sipping on soups etc we started  involving Kabeer in feeding Rajveer in our supervision holding his hands
• Playing with Rajveer and letting him act completely crazy for the little one to giggle
• We till date, allow Kabeer to decide on certain things for Rajveer, like how things need to be explained to Rajveer and what he should do in his free time etc  …

The above are a few things we followed cautiously to let the bond grow.. I still remember, when Rajveer was an infant, Kabeer would wait for taking Rajveer in his lap and enjoy the feeling of being the elder brother which overwhelmed him as he could handle another human being…….. 🙂

Yes, as mentioned earlier, there have been melt downs as a lot changes for all. and yes the terrible guilt sets in later to have been tough on your elder one. I have gone ahead and apologised to Kabeer for raising my voice……. and have also tried to explain to him about the fact that I was irritated and drained out and hence spoke to him like that. He sometimes understood us sometimes did not, but we took all the efforts to let him know he is valued and we accept that we too may be wrong sometimes.

The journey of being a pairent of 2 made me realise how important it is to have clarity that you are raising two individual human beings and how important it is to treat them as two individuals while raising them.

Hope this helped with some insight into how to balance your life with the upbringing when you are a Pairent of 2, my next post will be more about this journey……. till then always remember, “With the kids, Born are the Pairents” and we will always evolve together and learn from our mistakes….

HAPPY PAIRENTING!

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